Last week, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) took a break from calves-watching to introduce legislation that would block the federal courts from deciding to grant gay Americans the right to marry.
In response, Rep. Jared Polis (D-CO) introduced legislation blocking King from legislating, period.
“For too long, Steve King has overstepped his constitutionally nonexistent judicial authority. Mr. King has perverted the Constitution to create rights to things such as discrimination, bullying, and disparate treatment. These efforts to enshrine these appalling values as constitutional rights were not envisioned by the voters, or by King’s colleagues who must currently try to restrain his attempts to single-handedly rewrite the nation’s founding principles on a bill-by-bill basis.
I urge the House to bring this bill to the floor. If passed, my bill would preserve the right of millions of voters in all 50 states who would prefer that Steve King refrain from legislating a role for himself in their marriage decisions.”
Sadly, Polis’ legislation, the “Restrain Steve King From Legislating Act,” is purely satirical, but still some epic A+ trolling nonetheless.
Polis, a relentless immigration reform supporter in the House, made history as the first openly-gay parent to serve in Congress. He has two young children with his partner of over a decade.
King introduced his legislation, the “Restrain The Judges On Marriage Act,” ahead of the Supreme Court hearing oral arguments that could lead to marriage equality nationwide.
Naturally, King isn’t one bit happy about it, already having stated his own personal belief that he doesn’t expect to meet any gay people in the hereafter:
“I’ll just say that what was a sin 2,000 years ago is a sin today, and people that were condemned to hell 2,000 years ago, I don’t expect to meet them should I make it to heaven. So let’s stick with that principle.
Though King never specified he was referring to people with a same-sex orientation, his follow-up response clarifying who he believes falls into the “condemned” category indicated a particular “chosen lifestyle.”
“Let me say it isn’t to me to pass that judgment,” he said, “and those who choose a lifestyle that I’ll say is not one that’s anointed and favored by my faith — or their faith, for that matter — that’s between them and God.”
Someone else’s marriage, though, apparently is one thing King is deciding to make his business.
King’s office had no official response to Polis’ fake legislation, but this wouldn’t be the first time the two have sparred on a variety of issues.
Last year, Polis used King’s infamous comment about “calves the size of cantaloupes” on young undocumented immigrants to give him a hard time.
“I’d like to inquire as to what calves you inspected on your recent trip and exactly what you saw,” Polis said to King, referring to the latter’s trip to the U.S.-Mexico border. “I would also point out I did have the opportunity two weeks ago to go to the border. I did not see any calves that were in any way unusual.”
Meanwhile, King continues to hold great sway over 2016 Republican presidential candidates. This past weekend, he hosted Scott Walker, who now has immigration positions to the right of Mitt Romney (more in the Steve King end of the spectrum).
So, while Polis and others mock King for his extreme views, the GOP’s 2016 field flock to get in his good graces. That should work well for the general election.